Much has been written about the use of rape as a weapon of war and from the perspective of female victims. Rarely, do we hear about the fact that men also suffer. Well, let’s demystify that myth – MEN SUFFER FROM GENDER BASED VIOLENCE AND THAT INCLUDES RAPE. In November 2010, it was reported by the BBC Newsnight programme that a recent study about the use of rape as a weapon of war in the DRC, showed that 39 percent of women and 24 percent of men have been raped. However, the male victims for fear of stigmatisation and shame, hardly come forward. Hence, there are numerous undocumented cases. If we have a history of “numerous undocumented cases,” it means, we have men who are bleeding but cannot get help. Their spirit and soul wounded beyond comprehension. The knowledge that a man like yourself violated you must make a man, who has found himself a victim of gender based violence feel worthless, inferior…the list of what and how he feels/may feel is long. Traditionally, our men are supposed to be strong and unmovable. They cannot be beaten, they are our protectors. So, what do you do when as a man, you are the one in need of protection from your fellow men, who have turned sexual beasts/rottweilers?
Watching the documentary below has been an eye-opener on many levels and the realisation that NGOs/groups that help women do not make the same level of noise about men who suffer from this diseases is shocking. I call it a disease because that’s what it is, as far as I am concerned. If we are ever going to see an end to it, then we need a total shift in paradigm and action to ensure we have a society, where our men and women can walk about freely, without fear of being brutalised in a sexual manner. Yes, women are the bellwethers of society because they know how to hold things down when our men are out taking care of business. However, our men matter too because they have a vital role that they also play in our lives, society and world. They are of no use to us if we lose them mentally, emotionally and physically to gender based violence? How can we take care of our women and not take care of our men, who bring in the bacon, help us to raise the kids, love us and make love to us? They are our brothers, partners, fathers and uncles and hold so many roles in society too.
As far as I am concerned, this is not a topic for debate. Yes, there are men who commit these heinous crimes against women but now that we know they do the same thing to men, we have to take action and help both sexes. That is the bottom-line fact and it is a truth that comes from the core of our humanity, to ensure the wellbeing of others. We cannot take care of our women and forget our men. We must take care of both.
Gender Against Men, Refugee Law Project from SRLAN on Vimeo.
Related Articles: Who Will Heal Congo’s Women
