I hate waiting
I hate waiting on people
I hate waiting on anyone to make-up their mind
I hate the waiting time it takes to hear the outcome of a query
I hate waiting to hear about the outcome of an interview
I hate that my heart beats in ways I cannot control when I have to wait
I hate waiting when important decisions about my life are being made by people I do not know.
I hate waiting on the doctor’s report
I hate waiting, no questions asked, no two ways about it
The experience of being a single woman best defines how I hate waiting
For it is a hard and painful process because of the lessons you learn
And though I hate waiting I have had no choice but to wait
It is unheard of that a woman married herself
And in waiting, there have been experiences
That left me bitter with a bile taste in my mouth
But I have waited because life refused to fast forward my season
In my waiting time, I have learnt to love myself
Define how I want to be treated
Expand and broaden my horizons
Come out of my comfort zone
Learn to treat others with respect
For what I give is what I get
And my reality is a reflection of my actions
Above all, waiting has been about the journey to come to a place of my own
A place where my confidence is not dependent on others
A place where I love myself regardless of a significant other
A place where I am comfortable with the men in my life as they treat me like a lady and teach me about other men
A place where a smile is just that, a smile and not a sign that he is in love with me
A place where I do not feel the need to flaunt myself or make my presence felt though I am sometimes tempted to
A place where I can confront myself, mistakes and flaws…and imperfections…
And in waiting, I have come to the conclusion…
That that which is meant for me will not pass me by
Or be as difficult as the love relationships I wanted desperately
And so, planned and plotted to make them happen
If I had to do it all over, I would wait again
No regrets, no questions asked
Just learning to wait…
