Belinda, did you just say you want to become one with your G-spot? Yes, I did! Like that? I knew you would. Come on now, don’t tell me you didn’t get a twinkle in your eyes when you saw and read the word G-spot! A ha!
Now, come back to earth, get your mind and your head in place, take them right out from that tool in-between your legs and stay focused. I am talking about my dreams! The last time I checked, some people get high on sex, drugs, among other things which become a source of addiction. I would like to get high on my vision, dreams and purpose for 2011. I hope you have the same outlook and mindset.
I came home in December 2010 and there was an email in my inbox, titled, ‘Have You Discovered Your G-spot?’ I’m going to tell it like it is, the holiness in me came alive and I was like, what? How in the world would anyone send an email asking if I had explored my G-spot? Is this one of those emails, where they give you sex tips. All sorts crossed my mind. I went as far as wondering if the person, who sent the email was suggesting that I should start masturbating and getting all kinky with myself. Note, I had not even opened the email to read it and find out what it was about, a million thoughts had gone through my mind, racing faster than Lewis Hamilton in his McLaren car could ever muster. I finally read the email and had to call myself to attention, Belinda, before you jump to conclusion and start getting ahead of yourself, just open the email and find out what it is about. I read that email and I was grateful for the person who sent it. It was not about sex, in fact, there was no mention of the word sex in that email. It was about gratitude. It was about discovering your gratitude spot in order to move to the next level. And if you know me, I am big on gratitude. A grateful heart is always open to receiving more in life. But this same email ignited a whole new set of thoughts within me. It got thinking about dreams, visions and goals, and how high one can get, when you achieve a goal or see a dream come through.
2010 was just one of those days. Wow! I now see it as one of those days. Last year, everything seemed wrong and not going the way I wanted it to. But I made up my mind to stay grateful and grounded no matter what. I won’t deny how frustrated I was and my frustration led to the words, ‘Maybe anti-depressant will help.’ Now, I do not belittle the fact that in life, there will be times when we go through depression and don’t see a way out of the valley we are in. I have been there before and I know what that feeling is like. But anti-depressants was not an option on this occasion. I could not see myself adding that to the current cocktail of sweeties and jelly babies, I take daily and then have to deal with the side effects. As soon as the consultant uttered those words, I said to myself, “self, we were not going down this route again. Things maybe be rough right now and not the way I had planned for it at the beginning of the year but this too shall pass.” Without any hesitation, fully assured I was right about this, I told the doctor, “On this occasion, no more medication, thank you.” I went home actually feeling better about myself and the decision I made on the spot without being convinced to think about it. I felt like I was in control, after all, I mastered the art of looking good and smiling though I am dying internally, a long time ago. I only let go with people I know have me covered and will keep my business, my business. In 2010, I was drowning but I made a conscious effort that this won’t kill me in any way, not mentally, physically, creatively or spiritually. It took a lot of emotional strength to stand but this much I learnt a long time ago, that if I could just find the strength to stay grateful for all that is going right even though the things I really wanted to go right were going in a different direction, I will be okay. In fact, I will be more than okay. I will be fine and fly with no scar to prove that I had been in the fire all year long. I made up my mind that I would fight and in the fight, I would stay grateful. Here I am, dreaming again. Life is full of battles and it is crucial we stand and fight, and in our challenges learn because the lessons we learn are for the next cycle of life we are going into.
So, reading the email about discovering your G-Spot got me thinking again though my mind had already started working and was in overdrive as to what the next cycle of life would be. I knew I wanted to see life in a different way to what it was as of that day and date in December 2010. That night, I switched off my laptop, turned the music right down and sat down. I sat down to dream, I sat down to remember the energy I had for my dreams and purpose, leading up to my graduation in 2008. Remembering, reignited hope. Remembering, reignited passion. Remembering, reignited the will and need to live and stay the course. I was and I am willing to fight for what is mine. Not yours, his or hers, mine and mine alone. You can keep yours, it is of no use to me because what’s yours, there is no way, I can make it work for me.
In my time of thinking and reflection and with some help, let’s put it like this, my greatest weapon is not the twin girls on my chest or the clit in-between my legs as a woman. My greatest weapon is in-between my ears, which is connected to my soul, spirit and womb woman. Now, you are thinking, what the hell is she going on about? I think and envision with what’s in-between my ears. That is my power house because when a man is brain dead, of what use is he to anyone? What’s in-between my ears that is where I dream, it is the place where I think and see my future. It is the place where I give birth to every word you are reading right now. It is my mind, it is my spirit, it is my soul. It is what holds all that there is to me. If I take care of what’s in-between my ears by watching what I feed myself and I don’t mean food, this cyclone threatening to derail and break me down can be stopped.
I made up my mind and I decided I was not going to dwell on the number of rejection letters for the different jobs or scholarship applications I had made during the year. I was going to keep looking forward and move on to the next step on the ladder. I was going to stop crying over all of them and just tell them to keep their fear and regret each time a letter came through the post or an email. Funny, the last one came through on 31 December, as I was getting myself ready to go to church for watch night service. I deleted that email and smiled, took my bag and walked right out of the door. I did not even think about for anther second until today while writing this post. Believe me, when I say that is progress. In past times, when I experienced rejection, no matter the source, I always took it personally and that made the pain worse but I am learning not to do that and I think it makes it a little easier and practical to deal with. I refuse to sit about, crying over what I didn’t/don’t have but I will be grateful for what I had. It is time to flip the script and tell myself the right stories. It is time to think differently and expect good outcomes. I am big on the idea of managing one’s expectations, especially where people are concerned but where my dreams are concerned, I refuse to manage that. I expect good and great things to happen to and for me, and those around me.
2011 is finally here. Facebook, Twitter and the social sphere is inundated with happy new year messages but have you sat down to plan and map what you were going to do with the remaining 364 days? What funny stories did you tell yourself in 2010 and what are the stories you keep telling yourself about your dreams in 2011? Whose approval are you seeking? I am going to tell it like it, there was a time when I wanted everyone to approve my existence, forgetting the only person’s approval I needed was mine. Sometimes, I even bought folks stuff, so they would like me. When that didn’t work, I got it clean and clear, folks are going to be folks, you cannot change their mind but you can change how you feel about them or their actions. Being free of people’s opinion is so important to your survival in 2011, don’t get drunk when they sing your praises because by May/June, they may just be singing crucify him, crucify her! Sing your own praise song to yourself, you know are are fly! If you felt frustrated in any of your relationships in 2010, then ask yourself if you were only an option or a priority for the other party? What do you want to do differently in 20011? What do you want to change? Whose dream are you going to make happen and how are you going to treat those around you? (My little secret – I need and would like to to work on being nicer to people. I am not saying that I am horrible to people but I believe I could also on work on being nicer.) So that by December 31 2011, you and I can look back and say, what a year! I am going to leave you to come up with your personal answers as to what you need to work on and do.
In rounding this up, all I want to say is have a great 2011, it has so much in store for you. Don’t sit by and watch time and your life slip away. Don’t become a spectator in the affairs of your life. Discover your G-spot and get high on your dreams, living life and loving life. It is possible if you would just sit and plan it out.
In the meantime, I am off to feed my G-spot with some good loving and sweet self talk and action, that ought to turn you on wink*
Remember Randy Pausch and the ‘Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.’
I have to say watching Pausch’s Youtube video is one of the best times I have spent on the internet, listening to other people talk about their lives. So, I understand some of the comments made on this clip. You might not agree with everything he says but you will take one thing away. Enjoy!
Images
G-spot image from – onlineweblibrary.com/blog
Dreams: dodobirdsrcool.wordpress
