I Is A Bloody Martian
The bloody bastards, telling me I is a bastard and for being a bastard, I is the one who has got to come down to this bloody man and woman beings also known as human beings and tell them that we is coming. Bloody assholes, what do I look like? John The Baptist? I bet you they didn’t think I knew that right? Well, we have Jesus up in our world but one thing, he is not white. He is huge, he drinks beers, sorry, make that water. He tries not to curse because I do all his cursing for him…he has not got long hair like all of you here on earth have been made to believe. Be ye not deceived, he farts too.
Wondering how I got this fri**ing mandate? My parents were caught in a huffing, panting and puffing position and they were not married. So, the council leaders decided I would be the one to come down here and prepare these jokers who call each other blood. I have been here for six months and I’m having a swell time. They drink a lot, just my kind of thing and we get to go clubbing, dance and sex is like so free. You get me!
I met a bird three months after I got here, told her I was interested and asked if she was happy to get down with me sometime and the chick asked, do martians have sex?
I was like, yeah, why do you think there are so many of us when we come hit you guys? There is a factory for popping us, sperm and eggs flow in excess babes.
To be continued.
Image of Disco Alien from: Fundraw.com