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February 2020
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Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em

Some Mothers do have themMy journey to the Southbank for EC Osondu’s reading is one of the most eventful train journeys I have taken for a very long time. Got on the train as usual, nothing sinister or lurking about to make me think twice about the carriage I was in. As I make my way to take a seat, a teenage boy/young adult, who was speaking to his friend, eyes me up and down or should that be he was checking me out! Well, I payed no attention to his undressing eyes, found a free sit at the end of the carriage and like we say in Nigeria, I sidon! (I sat down)  I brought out my copy of Voice of America and as I was reading, this teenage/young adult joker says something to his friend, who starts laughing like the devil.

I carry on like I cannot hear the Chihuahuas but before I could say Ja! This little man, whose penis is till taking shape inside his trousers was sitting in front of me, smiling and rubbing his two strands of goatee beard, hello, what’s your name? I thought to myself, this punk must believe his own hype and the lie that he has got swagger. In a nutshell, this boy is one of the most persistent young men I have ever met. He asked for my name, age, nationality and then wanted my number. As usual, he would like to get to know me. I told him, first of all, it is wrong to ask a lady for her age. Young man turns around and tells me, no one has ever told him that. So, I said ‘now you know, go back and talk to your friend. I have a book to read’ and added ‘you are most likely the same age as my baby brother and between my brother and I, there are four siblings, all in their late/early twenties.’ This was the kill, ‘it does not matter,’ he told me! Ha! Then he proceeds and was hell bent on confirming that I’m Nigerian. I told him if that makes him happy, he is free to believe what he wants.

I, Belinda Otas, the status of a cougar, of course without the derogatory connotations, I would gladly take if I was dating a younger man but a pedophile, God forbid! So, I did the best I could to get rid of this young man but he was not taking no for an answer. His testosterone was on high alert and today was his day for a kill with an older woman. Meanwhile, his teenage friend is laughing his head off and an Asian man, sitting on the left side is watching this drama unfold and smiling to himself.  Fate finally stepped in and this boy had to get off at Bethnal Green staion, while my destination was Liverpool Street. As he stood up to get off the train, I told him…Nice Try! Needless to say the Asian man cracked up laughing and clapping his hands.  As they were walking away and the train gearing up to move, I heard his friend tell him,  ‘you silly boy, she is old enough to be your mum.’ Ha! Me, his mother??? Compliment or insult???

After my new best friend got off, the Asian guy turned around and said “Well done. He has been doing that to all the ladies who got on the train since the train moved from the other end.” Now, this train serves the route between Liverpool Street Station and Enfield Town. It turns out playboy got on at Enfield Town and the whole journey, he has been harassing different ladies by asking them for their names, age, digits and you name it. To get rid of him, they were giving him fake names and numbers. But this is what made me think, he gave each lady a different name and fake numbers too. Go figure! Young Casanova in da house!

I won’t deny it doesn’t feel good when a young man and one much younger than you approaches you to say hello Mama or shows interest. Let’s be honest, something inside you tingles because you do say to yourself, I still have juice after all and I’m alive.  There is nothing wrong with being admired by a man much younger than you, just don’t make the mistake of sleeping with one, you are old enough to be their mum. Now, if this young man was exceptionally cute, I would understand but he did not have that going. What he had was the ability to charm and be persistent. Nevertheless, I was not impressed with his smooth operator tactics. It amazes me how some young men these days forget that before them were our fathers and in them, we saw players, lovers, Casanovas, who thought they had it going on. At least, I saw it in my father and if anyone has got game, you best believe when I say my father had it going on, I don’t know about now that he has got grey hair 🙂

But you do have to ask, how does he know who to approach and not approach? Is there an amber sign on a lady’s forehead or my head at that…to make him think I’ll have a go at this one! This much I know…the next young man to try this with me on a bus or train journey, I might just tell him to go back and talk to his friend before I bust his head!

Fingers crossed and for my own safety, the exit door is not far away!


11 Responses to “Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em”

  1. Femi Ojo says:

    Very funny!

  2. myne Whitman says:

    LOL….you were just too attractive that day. Hope you had a nice time at the reading, an interview?

    BTW, Voice of America was shortlisted for the Commonwealth First Book.

  3. Belinda Otas says:

    Thanks Myne. I prefer your analysis and will take attractive 🙂

    It was a lovely reading, one of the best and funniest I have been to. EC Osondu has a way of saying things which makes so much sense and blow your mind…I guess that is obvious from his book.

    I saw an FB status about Commonwealth, great stuff…no interview, not yet! But you never know.

  4. Belinda Otas says:

    Thank you

  5. Ola Awonubi says:

    V Funny. Good for you. Thats telling em! Some really Mothers do ‘ave them. Hope you enjoyed the evening despite this encounter. Best regards

  6. Belinda Otas says:

    Ta Ola, it was a fine reading and ironically, the talk at the reading confirmed a thing or two about some men on the days they decide to act funny…subject of a different blog to be published once I make all my deadlines… tonight…

  7. Lara Daniels says:

    LOL…LOL…LOL….all the way!!!

  8. Belinda Otas says:

    tell me about it. I still laugh when I remember the encounter

  9. Chibundu says:

    Haha. That was funny. There are some jobless people in London o.

  10. Belinda Otas says:

    @ Chibundu, you can say that again, joblessness is dangerous o!

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